Do you know of someone – or are you maybe that someone – who has the ability and talent to lead in the church (small groups, Bible studies, discipleship groups) but is underutilized and more or less sitting on the sidelines. God, as always, made sure there were some stories in the Bible just for us and for the women around us who for whatever reason may be reluctant to lead. Over the years, many who have led or who were capable of leading, stopped – or never started – leading. We need to look to ourselves and ask why. Some may have been been “passed over” for the “young rising stars” or those more naturally “out-of-themselves”. Others may have stepped aside, feeling beaten down due to an overemphasis on statistics and reporting. Some are now married with children and figuring out how to juggle it all. And still others may have been hurt in the past and have not let go of that hurt. Maybe we’ve given the impression that leaders have to be beautiful or have a certain kind of personality. Or maybe we’ve simply never asked and inspired these women to lead.
If you’ve ever considered yourself a “reluctant leader” or if you see these women around you, this lesson by Chris Fuqua will inspire you.
This lesson looks at two women – one, whom we’ll call “Mary” of Bethany, and the nameless widow of Luke 21 – who speak to us out of the Bible with relevant life examples for today’s troubled times.
“Mary” of Bethany
Mark 14:1-9
Now the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread were only two days away, and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some sly way to arrest Jesus and kill him. 2"But not during the Feast," they said, "or the people may riot."
3While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
4Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? 5It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.
6"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. 8She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. 9I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
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After reading this passage, what qualities stand out in the character of this woman? We might think of courage, gratitude, love, personal sacrifice. Imagine, pouring out a year’s wages – what would that be today? Twenty thousand pounds? Thirty thousand Euros? Forty thousand dollars? No one had said to her, “You should go and do this for Jesus,” it just overflowed out of her heart. I think we can safely assume she was giving the best that she had to the Lord.
She was humble, willing to be humiliated, and determined – not caring what detractors might think or say. She decided that what she had to give was more important than everyone else’s bad attitudes.
Other people looked down on her sacrifice – but not so the Lord!
The Widow of Luke 21
Luke 20:45 – 21:4
45While all the people were listening, Jesus said to his disciples, 46"Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. 47They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely.
1As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 3"I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."
After reading these short verses about this widow, what can we learn about her? Though we don’t know when her husband would have died, we can be sure that she went through a hard time and had dealt with significant personal loss, and yet she was still giving. She was even giving back to the organization she could have been bitter about (was this not the same temple treasury overseen by the religious leaders who, Jesus said, “devoured widow’s houses?!”). She was in a vulnerable position and still she gave.
Lessons for Today
Both of these women did what they could, used what they had, and moved the heart of God. Here are some lessons we can learn from them:
They shunned materialism to do something great for God
We must battle materialism in our own lives and in the church! We’ve got to persuade people to live a life of sacrifice of time, resources, energy. Surely there are both good and bad examples in the church around us. One student I know moved to a new city, away from home, and began her studies at university. In seven months of attending her new church, no one in that congregation ever invited her home for a meal!
We must be able to evaluate our lives and ask some tough questions. Am I in a position to give? Do I live too far away from other disciples? If so maybe it’s time to consider a move. Am I too busy to make time to connect regularly and consistently with other disciples? Am I hiding behind my job or my family or my school work?
Everyone has something to give. Reflect on some of the “small” ways you can give: writing encouraging notes, sending text messages, baking cookies, giving hugs, teaching in the children’s ministry, picking someone up for church, offering to lead a study or disciple someone, inviting disciples to your home.
They overcame past hurts
Both of these women had been hurt in the past. In neither case does it seem that the pain of the past held them back from giving to God. You can almost imagine Mary of Bethany, walking slowly but resolutely through Simon’s house toward Jesus, eyes averted from questioning stares, carrying her precious jar, maybe repeating to herself in her mind, “Push through. Be steadfast. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t let anyone distract me. I will do this for Jesus because I know with all my heart it’s right to honor him in this way, in this moment.”
We need to reawaken this kind of determination to inspire more women – ourselves included – into action for God! Most of us acknowledge that small groups in the church are a great way to meet one another’s spiritual needs and to have a way to reach out to the lost. But they don’t work so well when they grow to be too large and no one seems ready or willing to lead a new small group if the large one would divide. An overlarge group stops being effective evangelistically because the leaders will get bogged down trying to shepherd everyone’s problems in the group. But, if it could be cut down to fighting size, it all becomes manageable again. To do that, however, requires that people will step forward and learn to lead.
They exceeded others’ expectations
Both Mary of Bethany and the widow “did what they could,” to quote the Lord Jesus. But in each case it’s interesting that the amount that each of these women chose to give was more than what was wise to give in the eyes of others. It was more than onlookers felt they could or should give.
Surely this is like Jesus himself. Sometimes, in order to coax people out of their comfort zone, they need to see an example that goes way beyond what they’re used to doing, in order to see what’s possible. Sometimes, in the spirit of “not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing,” or in an effort not to wake up the sin of pride and brag about our own good deeds, we reluctant leaders fail to communicate to the women around us what kind of needs exist in the congregation, how many and varied they are!
Inspiring others to lead – a practical example
So – how to inspire reluctant leaders to lead, practically? Our region had a lot of former leaders who were not doing much in the church. On a leaders’ retreat with established married small group leaders, we asked those couples to nominate one or two other couples who, in a perfect world, would be able to take and lead a split from their existing, overly-large family group. Next we organized a “reluctant leaders” meeting for these nominees. We brought babysitters, made dinner for them, and shared about the prospect of thinking about getting back into leadership in four months’ time.
We discovered some interesting things – like the fact that one brother was in three fantasy football leagues (i.e. – he had a lot of time on his hands that could be used for God)! It was interesting, too, that we couldn’t tell from people’s faces or body language how they were feeling as we presented the idea of getting back involved in leadership. We realized we had to give people time to come to their own convictions about the need for them to be more involved.
Whatever the reason you may not be leading today, or someone in your ministry you feel should be leading, isn’t, I pray the examples of these two sisters-in-the-faith and the lessons we learned in my ministry will inspire women to (once again) rise up and lead others to our Father.
