But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:8-10)
Throughout time we see the power of words…..First recorded spoken words “Let there be light” What an impact those words had. Most of us can likely remember specifically impact negatively and positively of someone’s words to us, or ours to someone.
Consider the power of Jesus’ words and His carefulness in using them
For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say." (John 12:49-50)
So the spies questioned him: "Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. (Luke 20:21)
Our words, our speech are the window to our hearts. For out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)
Our words are different as disciples and should stand out in a dark world
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
How important to God is my speech? Read these scriptures and consider ways I need to grow in the way I talk.
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If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom (James 2:12)
Practical teaching on things “to say” or “not to say”
Not To Say – Ungodly, negative use of words/ To Say – Godly, positive use of words
“Not to speak”
Several of the scriptures about controlling our tongues are directed to women or describing women. We seem to be more tempted than men to lose control of our tongues or talk too much. God is telling us to take special note!
Gaining Biblical conviction about our speech
Refer back to James 3:1-12
Why do you think God compares the tongue to a bit in a horse’s mouth or the rudder of a ship?
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How can the tongue be used powerfully for evil & how for good?
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Unwholesome talk
Eph. 4:29, Eph. 5:4, Col. 3:8, Phil.
What kind of unwholesome talk is most prevalent in your life or what holds the biggest temptation for you on a daily basis? (obscenity, foolish talk, coarse joking, malice, slander, anger, rage, filthy language, complaining, arguing, gossip)
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1 Timothy
Why do you think that Biblical teaching specifically directed at Christian women includes warnings about slander & gossip?
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Proverbs:
10:19 when words are many, sin is not absent
11:13 a gossip betrays a confidence
12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword
13:3 (s)he who guards her lips, guards her life. (S)he who speaks rashly is brought to ruin
16:28 a gossip separates close friends
18:8 words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a (wo)man’s inmost parts
19:13 quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping
21:9 & 25:24 better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife
21:19 better to live in the desert than share a house with a quarrelsome wife
27:15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day
Satan often tempts us to justify our sin in this area.
Do you ever think, “I’m just letting people know so that they can ‘pray’ for so-n-so” Ask yourself: “Is this something my friend would want me to share/would share herself? Is it really the best way to help? Should I ask this person first?”
Do you ever think, “I just need to talk about how I feel about the preaching or the way the worship service is put together or how that person hurt my feelings…with my whole dgroup!” A lot of times I justify talking to the wrong people because I’m too insecure or lazy to go to the right people – the preacher, the worship leader, person who hurt my feelings, etc.
Or do you ever notice how many positive comments you make to your husband/child/roommate/co-worker compared to how many negative or corrective remarks you make in a day.
How are you tempted to justify the sin of your tongue or take it lightly?
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“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36)
After thinking about what careless words you often speak in your life, how will it affect the ways you go about growing in this area?
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Mark 7:20-23 slander comes from the heart, as does most sin. Our words are an expression of what is in our heart and so we must first look at cleaning out our heart and our mouths will usually follow! Think about what kind of unwholesome talk is most prevalent in your life – what does this mean is in your heart?
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What have been some of the practical tools you have found helpful in taming your tongue in the following areas?
Gossip/Slander
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Critical/Negative remarks
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Quarreling/Nagging
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Romans 1:28-32 Sometimes it is harder to speak up to a friend or group of friends than it is to just ‘not participate’ in the sin. Do you “approve of those who practice” sins of the tongue by sitting by quietly?
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To Say – Godly, positive use of words
To praise God
The psalms are wonderful example of giving praise to God…
Read through several psalms of praise. Try writing a psalm of personal praise to God in your own words. Praising and thanking God is a right and good way to use our words. It often takes practice to learn to think and speak to God and others with praise and gratitude.
Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue was loosed, and he began to speak, praising God. (Luke 1:64)
so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 15:6)
To claim Jesus, stand for him, confess him as Lord
Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; (John 12:42)
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. [10] For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. (Romans 10:9-10)
It is written: " 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' " (Romans 14:11)
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name. (Hebrews 13:15)
What are ways that I use my speech to confirm Jesus and my following of him? ______________________________________________________________________
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To spread the news of Jesus
(the idea in Acts 8…the grass roots “gossiped the gospel”)
What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. (Matthew 10:27)
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, (Ephesians 6:19)
To persuade others to follow Jesus
This world and its media and postmodern philosophy is extremely aggressive in trying to persuade us to follow our sensual desires and ways of the Godless world. Is it appropriate and right to use our speech to persuade others to follow Jesus?
With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, "Save yourselves from this corrupt generation." (Acts 2:40)
Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. (Acts 4:29)
His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. (Acts 5:40)
He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and
How can I decide today to share the good news of Jesus with someone?
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To encourage others (put courage into them)
After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the synagogue rulers sent word to them, saying, "Brothers, if you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak." (Acts 13:15)
He traveled through that area, speaking many words of encouragement to the people, and finally arrived in
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, (Ephesians 5:19)
What would my speech include if I am to learn to use it to encourage others? Practically, what would this look like?
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To speak the truth to one another
The importance of being involved in one another’s lives, using our words with each other to speak truthfully
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)
When is it difficult for me to speak the truth to another?
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For building each other up
Hebrews 10:24ff tells us it takes thought and consideration to encourage others, spur each other on…
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6)
What does it mean to have my conversation be full of grace and seasoned with salt?
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My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (James 1:19)
How does this scripture apply to having conversation that builds others up and encourages them?
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Links to the whole series:
- Designed on Purpose (God’s plan for relationship and women’s relational challenges), Jeanie Shaw
- Taking Every Thought Captive (controlling our emotions), Irene Koha and Jeanie Shaw
- Calm and Gentle (not giving way to fear), Jennifer Radl and Ilona Sewell
- Submission (living freely under authority), Lisa Schnell. and Ellen Faller
- Prudence and Appropriateness (doing what is fitting), Helen Devlin, Karen Sullivan, and Jeanie Shaw
- Our Speech (to say or not to say…that is the question), Sarah Kodinsky and Jeanie Shaw
- Purposeful fellowship and friendship, Tina Macy and Ilona Sewell
- Friends and Fellow Workers, Jeanie Shaw
- Full of Good Deeds/Hospitality and entertaining angels, Lory Demshar, Deidre Pierce
- Freedom of Forgiveness or Bondage of Bitterness, Helen Devlin and Jeanie Shaw
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