She left my father and raised two children on her own after he became abusive to the family. That alone took great courage, as women often stay with their abusers out of fear, or from having nowhere else to turn. My mother was frightened about her prospects as a single mom, but the tender love for her children's safety compelled her to make the necessary change.
As a grown woman myself, I do not pretend for a minute that her children became everything she hoped we would be. I am sure we disappointed her along the way. But she never stopped loving us, despite our many failings. What I cherish most about her is that despite all her struggles, she never became one of those hard, bitter women. She did not look around the world at who she should blame for how life had turned out.
Instead, she was always gentle, laughing and even childlike, right until the time of her death, at age 66. Such sincere gentleness, I believe, is not so easy to find in the world these days. So often, past hurts and pains can tighten a heart and disfigure one's spirit.
Not so with Devorice Jean Collins - she never lost her sense of joy.
In fact, my mother was always open to new possibilities, like moving from California to New York at the age of 54 to start life over again. Her children were grown by then, so she packed her bags and came to the East Coast to try her hand at learning how to direct movies.
Yes, direct movies. She took classes, worked on low budget projects and seemed forever excited at the idea of being a 5'4" black woman working behind the camera of a big budget film someday.
Life, however, threw her another curve when she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at age 61. Though she was sure she would live a long time, yet, she passed away five years later. Even when it became painful for her to even breathe, she was not a complaining woman. To coin a phrase, she had the audacity to hope.
But more importantly, I love her because she never lost her ability to love: even after love let her down and disappointed her so many times.
It is because of this, that she was and still is, my hero - and exactly the type of woman I want to grow up to be.
Yamina is a member of the Manhattan region of the New York City Church of Christ.
