God Brought Me Home Through My Kids

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:1-2

I grew up in a dysfunctional home (who didn't?) in the 1970's. My mom took my sisters and I to church every Sunday. It was a pentecostal type of church. But I remember singing the songs and really enjoying learning about Jesus. My father was a truck driver and was gone most of the week; he came home every weekend. But unfortunately, he would stop at the local Moose Club to have a few drinks and usually came home drunk. So I witnessed a tormented marriage, and finally in my freshman year of high school, my mom left my dad and consequently left myself, my younger sisters, and my baby brother. I struggled with her leaving us. Despite the fact that she was not there to lead us spiritually, and my father had no desire to go to church, I went to a Bible camp every summer. On one occasion at summer camp, I decided to get baptized with about 10 other teenagers. I didn't really understand the significance of what I was doing, but I figured I was doing something good for myself and I proclaimed to be a Christian.

In the fall of 1979, I left to attend college in Boston, Massachusetts and was searching for a church and had no idea where to even start looking. There were churches everywhere. It was close to Christmas when I received a call from a very close friend I had known since first grade - Sandra Gail Pratt. She had moved to Tennessee and had been attending a Church of Christ in Chattanooga. She told me about the church and said that someone would be calling me to invite me to church in Boston. Sure enough within a couple of weeks I received a phone call from Lisa Johnson. She invited me to a Friday night devotional held in the Lexington Church of Christ building in Lexington, Massachusetts. There were about 40 people in attendance. I loved it and began studying the Bible with Lisa.

Approximately one month later we were studying the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. She made it clear to me that if I had been the only person standing at the foot of the cross that day, Jesus would still have died on that cross for me. For the first time I understood the significance of the cross. I understood the sacrifice Jesus made in leaving his Father and coming to earth and giving his life for my sins on the cross. Then we discussed baptism and we went over and over the scriptures.

In my mind I had been baptized when I was a teenager so I didn't really think too much of this part of the study (basically I thought I had that covered). We talked about the blood of Christ and how baptism allowed us to come in contact with Jesus' blood - that is was only through baptism that we could actually have forgiveness of our sins. The more we talked about baptism, I remember the feelings I had and how it was becoming more clear, and especially when she said to me, "Sandy (my friend from Tennessee) was recently baptized into Christ and she made Jesus Lord of her life, and became a Christian." I looked at her with complete bewilderment in my eyes, and I said, "Sandy was baptized at the same time I was when we were younger at bible camp."
Lisa looked at me again and reiterated the words that Sandy had recently made Jesus Lord of her life and was baptized into Christ and was now a Christian. I looked at Lisa and asked (while knowing the answer), "If Sandy just became a Christian, then what am I?" Lisa didn't have to answer my question. My heart, my mind and my soul knew the answer and it was then that I made the decision to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life and I was baptized into Christ in January of 1980. For the next 8 years of my life, I dedicated my life to sharing my faith, making disciples and growing spiritually in Christ - I couldn't have been happier than I was during that period of my life. My life was completely oriented - everything was in order and I was living a very fulfilling life.

In 1988 the church had reached a membership of close to 4,000 people. We were meeting in zones throughout the metropolitan area of Boston. And then within the zones were house churches. We had brothers and sisters who were joining the church from all parts of the world - and from traditional churches throughout the United States. This became the time period that I am sure most of you have heard about when the church started to go through some struggles - well, I was basically at the very beginning of that time period and my faith was being challenged as was my relationship with God and whether or not I had truly become a disciple in 1980. After restudying the Bible again, and after total dissarray, I unfortunately left the Boston Church of Christ in 1988.

For the next 20 years, my life became quite disoriented and quite a mess. I met my husband shortly after leaving the church, got married and we went to a traditional church for about 2 years until we decided to move to Vermont. We had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Lindsay. We were divorced in 1995 mainly due to the fact that Christ was not a part of our marriage. For the next thirteen years I tried to fill my life with everything known to man that was not Christ-like. I experienced as much heartache, loneliness, frustration and emptiness as one could experience.

Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. 55 And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, "This man was with him." But he denied it. "Woman, I don't know him," he said. A little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them."
"Man, I am not!" Peter replied. About an hour later another asserted, "Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean." Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly. Luke 22:54-62

I have wept bitterly at different times in my life over the past thirteen years because I knew that my life was not pleasing to God and I knew that my actions were crucifying the Son of man all over again and that is a very shameful feeling to have. I have sought God in many ways - I have attended other churches and denominations and have walked away empty and unfulfilled and even prayed that God would forgive me and show me his will for my life.

In May of 2005 - God began to answer my prayers - he heard my pleas but I was still not ready to be lifted out of the slimy pit. It was Mother's Day morning and I decided to take my children out to breakfast before going to work at my part-time job. We had just sat down next to Doug, Ingrid, Roderick and Shada Hooper when Roderick acknowledged Nathaniel. They attend school together. Well, of course Doug and Ingrid took advantage of that moment and began talking to us and eventually shared about the church and how they had moved here from Virginia Beach to plant a church.
As soon a they said the words "church planting," my defenses went up and I began to ask questions about the church. I wondered if it was anything like the Church of Christ in Boston that I had left over 15 years ago. The more they spoke about it, the more I realized it probably was. When they asked us if we would like to go to church with them, I simply said, "I cannot go because I have to work, but please take my children." I knew in my heart that this church they talked about spoke the truth and only the truth, and I knew that my children would benefit from this experience, yet I was not ready to let go of the world even though I was extremely miserable. God is a patient and loving God.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. Acts 17:26

I believe that I moved to Salem, VA so that I could be reunited with Christ. And so for the next year and a half, my son, Nathaniel, studied the Bible and attended the Roanoke Valley Church. Praise be to God, in May of 2007 he made the decision to make Jesus Christ Lord of his life and become a Christian. Now you can only imagine the spiritual war that had taken place in my home from 2005 until 2008 when I finally went back to church. God used Nathaniel every day to remind me of what I needed to do. Nathaniel in some instances became the adult and would look at me and say, "When are you going to stop blaming God for actions of men that happened 20 years ago?" Basically, what are you going to do with the man called Jesus? Are you going to continue to deny him and go on living the life that you are living?

For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. I Thessalonians 4:7-8

I realized that I was not rejecting Nathaniel, but God. And when Nathaniel invited me to come to church with him on Easter Sunday, 2008, I knew I had to go - it was the "right" thing to do - in my mind I thought I have to go to church on Easter Sunday if no other time during the year. But I believe that my heart was ready and I started attending every Sunday from that day forward. On May 15, 2008 I completely rededicated my life to Christ. I made Jesus Lord of my life for the last time - and accepted the purpose that Christ has given each us - to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them and teaching them to obey his commands.

I am excited about what God has in store for myself and my children. Thank you, Ingrid and Doug for reaching out to me and my children. Thank you, God, for loving me and for sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. I commit myself to you completely.