"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." -- 1 John 4: 7-12
My first embarrassment when it came to matters of the heart arrived during Mr. Latanzio's 5th grade class. It was there that I first mustered the courage to ask a very young lady to be my girlfriend, whom many other kids said liked me too. Some of my friends had already got their first kiss, and me not wanting to be left out of this new phenomenon, felt that it was time for me to get mine as well. So, during snack time, I courageously walked over to her desk and said "Shaunda, I really like you. Will you be my girlfriend?" For the seconds that elapsed between my question and her answer, I felt bold and confident. This moment was my moon landing and I refused to let gravity level my soul's floatation.
That all lasted until she said no. How could this be, I thought. According to my sources, all elements were in their proper place for my first kiss to take place in elementary school. Upon asking her why, I received an answer that shifted a part of my life for years. "I don't want all the other girls laughing at me for liking you again." All of a sudden, I came crashing down to the hard surface of planet Earth. I wanted to stuff my head in my back pocket. Sure I didn't possess leading man looks with my pre-pubescent, baby fat face and slightly crooked teeth. Nor was I on the cutting edge of fashion since most of my clothes were bought at the same place where my family bought groceries. Yet it was devastating to know at a young age that having me as a potential romantic interest could be the cause of someone's humiliation.
Unfortunately I subconsciously carried this incident and its resulting sentiment in my head for many years. I viewed myself as ugly, and thus, was treated as such. I dated women that used me, crushed my psyche, and placed me on layaway as they secretly dated other men or used me as a walking Groupon to get a gourmet meal. Each relationship drained me and took a major piece of my character away from me over time. However, if you believe with your entire mind that you're lucky to even have a girl show interest in you, you lift all of that baggage until it breaks your back.
It's crucial that I share these gory details because I know that this particular struggle is not unique to my life. Countless men and women everywhere are settling for less than what they're worth due to their misguided notion that that is all that is in store for them. They repeat their own flawed dating patterns and shun those that go against their own norm. God on the other hand has better arrangements for us when it comes to love.
We must first be aware that almost every human relationship will disappoint but God's love will never fail. This does not mean that we forever separate ourselves from the potential love that someone else can give us. Remember that God Himself fully endorses companionship with the opposite sex (Genesis 2:18-24). It means that we guard our hearts and ease into romantic situations with a full reliance on God. Your emotional needs should never be contingent on someone; only God, whose love proves consistent forever.
Someone not noticing your worth doesn't make you any less valuable, especially from the vantage point of God. Remember that those who truly love you are committed to your satisfaction, security and development, constantly desiring for you to become what God wants you to be. So be stuffed by the love of God when you feel unwanted; you aren't who you thought you were in 5th grade.
That all lasted until she said no. How could this be, I thought. According to my sources, all elements were in their proper place for my first kiss to take place in elementary school. Upon asking her why, I received an answer that shifted a part of my life for years. "I don't want all the other girls laughing at me for liking you again." All of a sudden, I came crashing down to the hard surface of planet Earth. I wanted to stuff my head in my back pocket. Sure I didn't possess leading man looks with my pre-pubescent, baby fat face and slightly crooked teeth. Nor was I on the cutting edge of fashion since most of my clothes were bought at the same place where my family bought groceries. Yet it was devastating to know at a young age that having me as a potential romantic interest could be the cause of someone's humiliation.
Unfortunately I subconsciously carried this incident and its resulting sentiment in my head for many years. I viewed myself as ugly, and thus, was treated as such. I dated women that used me, crushed my psyche, and placed me on layaway as they secretly dated other men or used me as a walking Groupon to get a gourmet meal. Each relationship drained me and took a major piece of my character away from me over time. However, if you believe with your entire mind that you're lucky to even have a girl show interest in you, you lift all of that baggage until it breaks your back.
It's crucial that I share these gory details because I know that this particular struggle is not unique to my life. Countless men and women everywhere are settling for less than what they're worth due to their misguided notion that that is all that is in store for them. They repeat their own flawed dating patterns and shun those that go against their own norm. God on the other hand has better arrangements for us when it comes to love.
We must first be aware that almost every human relationship will disappoint but God's love will never fail. This does not mean that we forever separate ourselves from the potential love that someone else can give us. Remember that God Himself fully endorses companionship with the opposite sex (Genesis 2:18-24). It means that we guard our hearts and ease into romantic situations with a full reliance on God. Your emotional needs should never be contingent on someone; only God, whose love proves consistent forever.
Someone not noticing your worth doesn't make you any less valuable, especially from the vantage point of God. Remember that those who truly love you are committed to your satisfaction, security and development, constantly desiring for you to become what God wants you to be. So be stuffed by the love of God when you feel unwanted; you aren't who you thought you were in 5th grade.