Like many Christians I too have experienced challenging times in today's multi-faceted life style. Deaths, failed relationships and career losses combined with the changes in our Church Family over the years, left me functioning with an inward heaviness. Later I learned to recognize it as unresolved grief.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above.
GOD introduced me to an additional tool to help me deal with my grief. Although this program is secular, it works! Many disciples have been helped by Grief Recovery here in the Los Angeles area. A few of us are now certified to direct Grief Recovery workshops.
The Grief Recovery Institute Founders are often the first responders called to major tragedies like 911 or Columbine. Thousands have been helped around the nation.
This program is an amazing opportunity to unload many years of unprocessed grief thru re-education of what grief is and what it is not. Whether the loss is due to death, divorce, a relationship break up, a major move, a new ministry or any major life change including career, financial and personal ----Grief Recovery can help. It is a workshop where you learn more about yourself, how you got there and how you can process loss in your life in a healthy and productive manner.
Many of us come from a family with some kind of dysfunctional background. On some level we can all relate to various forms of abuse. Even those who claim to come from a perfect and happy home, often learn in Grief Recovery there were hidden desires of good things left unmet or important communication left unsaid.
Sally grew up in the perfect family. Her father had a respectable job. She had a nurturing Mother in the home. But as some can relate, she felt she had to be the perfect daughter, achieve perfect grades, go to the perfect college and graduate with the perfect degree. Her passions and interests were dismissed and not nurtured in her home. Resentments were born, planted and fed. "I only felt loved when I proved myself to my parents. Yet my interests and passions were not respected. They were considered no more than trivial hobbies".
Billy is a Disciple, a college graduate with a good job. He is married with two children, loves GOD and his church family. Yet, he has difficulty with relationships, particularly trusting or reconciling with people. He shuts down. During those times only his wife and children matter.
Thru GR (Grief Recovery), Billy was able to identify a problem which began in the early years of his life. His Father and Mother left him with his Grandparents for a few years while they traveled to the U.S.A. to build a better life for the family.
Those early years created feelings of abandonment, fear, anger and resentment. After joining his parents in the U.S, he forgot about the feelings of those early years. He graduated college with honors and married a wonderful Christian wife. They had two children and his life seemed to be happy and normal. Yet Billy suffered in relationship building and trust. Ultimately he found himself unable to reconcile even to those he considered his closest friends. Through his work in Grief Recovery, Billy was able to unlock his feelings and grieve the childhood he never had. He grieved its affect on him as a child, boy, teen and young man. He learned how to reconcile with his family, friends and how to forgive himself. Today he is totally different. Billy walks with a lighter step and is able to build healthy friendships.
As for my story, I moved back to California from Europe where I lived for eight years. I left behind a lifestyle I adored, many good friends and experiences, an exciting career and a broken dysfunctional relationship. It was GOD who saved my life when I became a Disciple. And I believe it was GOD who led me to Grief Recovery. I learned how to grieve the loss of a loved parent and grieve the move back to the U.S. I grieved my distorted thinking which enslaved me to thoughts that I was a failure because I was unable to recapture my once thriving career in the entertainment industry.
As a Disciple I felt like a failure. I couldn't change this heaviness at my core. Adding to the pain was hearing people say it was my fault because I wasn't “committed to my relationship with GOD” or due to my “lack of faith.” This may press some buttons for some of you, but the truth is, all those comments came from concerned and loving people I respected. It wasn't that they did not care, they just didn't understand how unresolved grief affects a person. And neither did I.
After finishing a Grief Recovery workshop, I went back for professional training and graduated from the Grief Recovery Institute in 2006. It has given me the opportunity to help steer many people thru their own grief issues as well as educate people how to approach those who are grieving.
Often not knowing what to do, we do nothing. We justify it to ourselves by thinking the person "needs space." What the grieving person really needs is just someone to listen. Sayings like "it's for the best" or "time will heal" or "be strong" are just WRONG. Thru the Grief Recovery Program we learn how to encourage and support those who are hurting as well as how to process our own grief.
For more information log onto www.grief.net If you are interested in a workshop or personal counseling and live in the Los Angeles area, please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I am also available to travel if your Church would like to sponsor a 3-day workshop for groups of eight or more.
EDITOR'S NOTE: We are personally encouraged by the good results of the Grief Recovery Institute. We are also aware of the GR work of Curt and Janet Clemens in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Church.