Eighteen years ago Mark and I adopted a very unhappy little baby girl called Esther Sonali. She needed a family and we took her in. This past month she graduated from high school and is off to college in Seattle in September. She is a beautiful, happy, talented young disciple of Jesus and we are so very proud of her. The journey has not been easy but it has been worth it. I have learnt so much about compassion, acceptance, and patience. There has been much molding of heart for everyone in our family and we are all different people because of the experience.
About six years ago the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to adopt again. By then Mark and I were in our mid forties, we already had four children (one adopted and three biological), so many people thought I had lost my mind, however I couldn’t shake the conviction that God had called me to adopt again. It was compelling. Mark graciously agreed to pursue this dream. Our other children (Hannah, now 21, Luke, 18, Esther, 18, and Madeleine, 9) were very excited about this plan.
The Scripture in James 1:27 has been a great motivation: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I want to live my life to the full and end it with no regrets when I meet Jesus on the final day. The question I want to ask myself is “Why not?” not “Why?” Adopting another child at the age of 50—when most people look forward to an empty nest—goes against conventional wisdom. But who says we have to be conventional? People say, “It is expensive.” Yes, it is. People say, “You will be 70 when she is in college”. Yes, we will. Still some say, “Will you have time for the ministry?” Adopting has a huge positive impact on our ministry. Many ask us if we are afraid of potential problems having to do with adoption issues. Yes, there will be problems. We will deal with them as they come.
A month ago I flew back from a visit to Seattle where Hannah, my oldest daughter, had just graduated from university. The next day I flew down to Chennai to bring home my youngest daughter Priscilla Mercy. She has just turned four and she needs a family. As imperfect as we are I pray she will grow up with love and affection, and will use her life to help others.
This adoption seemed impossible. So many people told us it could not be done. We were too old; we had too many kids already. Nothing is impossible with God however. I have seen too many miracles in my 27 years as a disciple to be put off by doubt. “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.” (Hebrews 5:7). This has been one of my favourite scriptures over the years.
The laws of the land may have said it was impossible to adopt Priscilla but God is more powerful. So I prayed…a lot! I prayed for a miracle, day after day. I cried to God and he heard me. In spite of our sins and shortcomings I have learnt that God pays heed to passion and desperation. Mark and I also started praying together every day, a habit we had drifted away from over the last few years. I am sure God heard those prayers too.
The hurdles seemed insurmountable at times. The bureaucracy in India, added to the corruption, and inefficiency of government agencies, made the whole process disheartening at times. The financial costs were daunting to say the least. We ploughed on, however, with dogged determination and God gave us a miracle.
As I had to rely on God in a radical way other positive changes happened. The Holy Spirit put it on my heart to take care of myself in the year I turn 50. After all I would need a lot of energy in order to take care of an active four year old! Over the last five months I have lost 50 pounds, which has been a very encouraging development. It is nice to be able to wear the same size clothes I used to wear before I had children! I try to keep myself fit, both physically and spiritually.
It is good for us to keep challenging ourselves to live by faith, to stretch our spiritual muscles, and take radical steps, even when it all seems impossible. As we get older it is important for us to frequently reassess our faithfulness to our core beliefs and convictions. Are we staying true to the confession we made at baptism, “Jesus is Lord”? Do we have the same zeal and faith we had at the beginning? In fact we should have more now than we did at first. The young generation needs to see us living on the edge and doing “crazy”, “radical” things that will spur them on to try things too.
Adopting Priscilla is one of the ways I live out my faith. There are obviously many ways we live our faith every day. The important thing is to step out and challenge ourselves to do things that require a radical dependence on God. Then we will witness many miracles! I am very grateful I was saved 27 years ago. Let this adoption be a small way to say thank you to God for adopting me.