A few days ago I listened to all 66 chapters of Isaiah in my Zondervan Audio Bible – in one day. It was thrilling. As I was listening to the inspirational chapter six, the reader surprised me with his interpretation of verse eight: "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I, send me!'"
Of course, we’ve all heard many sermons on this verse. But this reader made it come alive. He read it like, “Here am I send ME!!!!!” It made me think of a group of 10-year-olds wanting to be picked to be on the baseball team with the bigger kids: “Pick ME! Pick ME!” they cry. It thrilled me so much that I stopped in my prayer walk and turned off the audio on my phone program and just marveled at this wonderful attitude. Don’t you wish that all of us would be standing in front of the Lord of the universe, waving our hands wildly, and screaming at the top of our voices, “Pick ME! Pick ME!”? What a wonderful thought.
My wife, Mary, and I (respectively 62 and 63 years old) have recently officially “retired” – whatever that means. I suppose the coolest part of what it means is that we are now both receiving our Social Security checks! That makes us “official." God has blessed our lives in many ways through the years.
In the late '80s we were privileged to be a part of the Bombay, India mission team and spent three and a half years in India. It was a life-changing experience. We returned to the U.S. in 1990 and for the next 15 years we were trained and disciplined by the Lord in many and various wonderful and painful ways. If anyone had ever needed their “comeuppance,” it was me. So I got it. ‘Nuf said on that.
In these latter days, God has taken us to live and work in Afghanistan, Pakistan, the United Arab Emirates (Dubai area) and Santiago, Chile. A year ago we followed God’s leading to a wonderfully small community in Port Saint Lucie, Florida, in the northern-most part of the South Florida Church of Christ. We really hadn’t planned on moving back to the United States, but God was clear about it...(nobody else offered us a job!). In reality, we didn’t “officially” work for the church in PSL, but led a wonderful house church with brothers and sisters we have come to love dearly. We expected that in our early 60’s that this would be our “final resting place”….sorry, I mean, where we would retire. We were okay with that.
But, wouldn’t you know it, God had other plans. Our daughter and son-in-law, Kay and John, have recently moved to China to learn Mandarin and teach in some of the universities that are in a massive metropolitan area. John met some friends who were starting a small school for young children and John (without my knowledge, mind you) suggested that his father-in-law would make a great headmaster for this new school! When John and Kay visited us in Florida as they were on their way to China, John relayed this story to me while sitting calmly in our living room.
What would your reaction be? Nice house, comfortable neighborhood, wonderful group of friends meeting in a house church format – what more could you ask for? Right? So, I slowly nodded my head, and (go ahead, imagine it) my right hand started stroking my white goatee. Then both Mary and I said the fateful words, “Why not?” Skip ahead a couple of months and here we are. We land in China on June 2. This is a retirement plan if I have ever heard one. So what goes into a decision like this? My thoughts go back to Isaiah 6. Let me go through it with you.
In Isaiah 6:1, Isaiah writes: “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted...” Over the 45 years since I made Jesus the Lord of my life, I must admit that God was not always “high and exalted” in my life. I exalted people; I exalted productivity; I exalted our system; I exalted human praise. But rarely did I see God “high and lifted up” in my life. Our years in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Dubai and then in Chile truly helped both Mary and me see God in a deeper way. Because our physical lives had been threatened in Afghanistan and we had spent seven years learning to love and understand the Muslim world, we came to find a deeper and more profound dependence upon God our Father.
In Chile we led a church for two and a half years in which I never once preached without translation. Out of 160 disciples in that congregation, I could only freely speak with 10 or 15 people in English. I could not trust in myself; I could not control the events around me; I had to believe that God had a plan and he would use me. I could only put our lives in the hands of the one who sees it all. It was in the caldron of these pressures that Mary and I truly learned to pray. We walked and walked, and prayed and prayed. God and Jesus became the “third person” on our every walk, every drive in a car, and every moment in our lives. We have finally learned in these years (many years after our 50th birthdays) what it means to walk with God. Isaiah marvels in awe at the vision of the Lord, high and lifted up! This is who God is. He is God. He is the Lord. He is in control.
Although Isaiah saw God in this way, his reaction in 6:5 is crucial for his usefulness to God: "'Woe to me!' I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips...''” Oh, that we would cry that cry earlier in our lives! For me, that understanding began to come to me in 1998 when I was taken out of the ministry and the eldership. I had “played the game” the best way I knew, but my children saw my hypocrisy at home and struggled spiritually. My dreams, sadly, had centered on position, honor from others, and public acclaim. I had those things...until, well, they were gone. It was in those years after 1998 that I examined myself and saw how deeply flawed I was. I am not saying that this was the point that I became a Christian. That happened in 1971. But this was one of those turning points that helped me to see that I was nothing in front of God.
Thankfully, again and again, as it says in Isaiah 6:6-7, God’s angel has brought the burning coal of Jesus’ blood and has said, “See, this has touched your lips, your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” I have learned that I will always need the blood of Christ to burn away my guilt and sin. It is only Jesus who can make me worthy of any noble cause or grand adventure. My usefulness to God depends completely upon my acknowledgement of my guilt and the cleansing of the blood of Christ.
How often have you found yourself waving your hand, half-standing in your seat, screaming to God “Use ME! Use ME!”? Have you ever actually been there? How much more time do you actually have to be used here on this earth? How many more years will God give you? How many more pleas from God will you turn down? Is the sum of your life simply a monotonous series of (spiritual) soap operas, sporting events and church services that only challenge you to do the same things that you have been doing for the last 30 or 40 years? You don’t need to move to China to raise your hand and scream out to God: “USE ME!!!” God can use you right where you are. I believe that all you need is to see God high and lifted up, acknowledge your complete sinfulness, accept the cleansing of the blood of Christ, and then...raise your hand and your voice! God will find the place where he can use you.
When you get there, the next thing you will hear out of the mouth of God will be his words to Isaiah (6:9): “Go and tell this people...”
With love,
Dan Allison, China
For those looking for a disciple’s adventure, please click here: One Year Challenge
Also plan to attend this DT-sponsored workshop at Reach2016: Empty Nesters on a Mission